Tequila and Tea

Where intimacy lives is in the quiet miracle of being able to look into the eyes of someone you love… and feel the goodness within them.
To rest in the softness of Yes. You.

Not the performance, not the projection, not the fantasy—
but the realness.
The humanness. The sacred ordinary.
That deep connectedness that asks nothing but presence.

It’s here, in that still moment of recognition—I see you, I feel you, I’m with you—that intimacy is born.
Not forced. Not chased.
But birthed gently from the space between two open hearts.

And yet… so many of us feel wildly discordant in our own bodies.
We flinch at closeness.
Our nervous systems, tired from old stories, tense under the weight of being witnessed.
So when someone meets our gaze with love,
we look away.
We shrink.
We wonder, Can I really let this in?

But what if we turned inward first?
What if the first set of eyes we held contact with were our own?
And we said: I’m here with you. I love you.

To rest in that yes.
To elevate every experience from that place of self-belonging.
To look into the eyes of another from the rooted knowing:
We are here.
We are in this together.
It is good to be involved with you.

That is where intimacy lives.
And that is where love becomes holy.

A Tea Ritual for Intimacy and Self-Connection

In the same way intimacy is born from presence, so too can your connection to yourself be nurtured with intentional, mindful moments. This tea ritual is designed to help you settle into your body, calm your nervous system, and deepen your relationship to self, so you can rest in the “Yes. You” and share that grounded energy with others.

What You’ll Need:

• A warm, calming herbal tea (I recommend a blend that includes ingredients like tulsi, chamomile, or lavender, all known for their soothing properties)
• A comfortable, quiet space
• A soft blanket or cushion
• A small, personal object that brings you peace (a crystal, a photo, a journal)
• A tea cup or mug that feels like a treat

Steps:

1. Prepare the Tea:
   Start by selecting your favorite herbal blend or one that resonates with relaxation and peace. As you steep the tea, take a deep breath, allowing the aroma to ground you in the present moment. Let the warmth of the water remind you that you are deserving of this quiet time.
2. Create Your Sacred Space:
   Find a comfortable space where you can sit undisturbed for a while. Set the scene—maybe light a candle, wrap yourself in a blanket, or place a soft cushion underneath you. Make it feel inviting. You’re not just making tea—you’re making space for you.
3. Sip Slowly:
   Take the first sip of your tea slowly, savoring the warmth and flavor as you close your eyes. Let the feeling of warmth spread through your body. With each sip, remind yourself: I’m here with you. I love you. Let that affirmation sink into your bones.
4. Gaze into Your Reflection:
   After a few sips, gently hold your tea cup and look at your reflection in a nearby mirror, or if you feel comfortable, close your eyes and turn inward. Look at yourself as you would a loved one. See the goodness within you. Let your eyes soften, and breathe deeply. If you feel discomfort arise, simply acknowledge it and return to your breath, saying: I am worthy of love. I am worthy of rest. I am worthy of this moment.
5. Mindful Presence:
   Sit in silence for a few minutes, feeling the connection to yourself. What does your heart need? What does your body long for? Allow these questions to settle gently into your spirit as you sip your tea and rest in the “Yes, I am here.”
6. Elevate the Moment:
   As you finish your tea, take a few more moments to bask in this intimate connection with yourself. Repeat silently or aloud: We are here. We are in this together. It is good to be involved with me. This is the place from which intimacy, in all its forms, can grow. Rest in this knowing.